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Guys, chicks dig art.

In a study conducted by me that is probably true, guys who make art, sell art, buy art, steal art (even the less hunky guys in Ocean’s Eleven get girls), or know stuff about art get 100% more access to girls than guys who don’t.

Art Basel 2013 is rapidly approaching, and it’s going to be crawling with beautiful women. Assuming you’re not a wealthy art dealer or collector, a professional thief, and have zero artistic skill, you’re going to need to know some things about art if you want to impress them. And I’m here to help. You’re welcome in advance.

Art Basel In Switzerland Is More Authentic

There are many people in the art world who believe that Art Basel in Miami has become too commercialized, and is more about the parties and “being seen” than about the actual art itself. Tell a girl that you prefer the Art Basel show in Switzerland, where it’s “all about the work.” It will make you seem less shallow while still enjoying your party.

Random Facts About Art

Knowing random art facts will make you appear knowledgeable and informed. Example: British artist Damien Hirst has been doing paintings of dots for the last 20 years. Casually mention that there are 1,365 Damien Hirst dot paintings, the number of dots in a painting can range from 1 dot to 1 million, and it’s estimated that he has painted over 10 million dots in his career. Trust me, she’ll be impressed.

Random Facts About Artists

It’s also cool to know stuff that you didn’t learn in art school or from some boring book. Tell her that Andy Warhol hated leftovers, and never ate them once in his entire life. That’s a true story.

Being Friends With Artists, But Not Thinking It’s A Big Deal

You’re not friends with any famous artists? Me neither. Just make something up. Tell girls that you grew up in New York City in the ’80s, your parents were friends with lots of art-types, and Jean-Michel Basquiat babysat you a couple times. Then say, “Whatever. Who cares?” Not thinking it’s a big deal is key.

Knowing Art Trends

Fact: Art Basel 2012 was all about mirrors. Cracked mirrors, reflective pools of glass, infinity mirrors, countless artists used glass. Pickup the guide to 2013 and start drawing conclusions.

Knowing Art Movements

Art is all about movements. Abstract expressionism, Bauhaus, cubism, there are so many. Pick one and know some things about it. Memorize this: “The pop art movement started as rebellion against the abstract expressionists; it was born in the mid 1950s in the UK, and it asserted that the visual elements of the mass-media from the popular culture can be considered fine art.” Maybe don’t say it exactly like that—because you’ll sound like a Google search result—but you get the idea.

Being Cutting Edge

It’s always a good look to be up on the future of the art world, and digital art is exactly that. People are now selling their six-second Vine videos… yes, for actual money. On March 12, New York-based artist Angela Washko sold the first piece of “Vine art” to curator and collector Myriam Vanneschi. That fact will blow her mind.

For more head over to www.complex.com/worldscollide