To most young men, a coffee table is where dinner is consumed and where the debris from last nights party — cups, empty bottles of booze, overflowing ashtrays — ends up.
But you’re not “most young men” and when you have guests over to your apartment/home, especially female guests, and like it or not they’re going to judge you over what you’ve got sitting on that little flat surface in front of your house.
So, deck out your coffee table with these 10 items and you’ll look as cool and well-put together as Steve McQueen in Bullet.
No young lady wants to find a collection of Playboys and FHMs strewn around a coffee table, so show them you have some class when it comes to your taste in female nudity with Treats! Magazine, “where sensual photography, fashion, art, and engaging editorial meets the ultimate in luxury lifestyle publishing”.
Order Issue 6 for $30 off Treats!‘s webstore.
Classy nudes shouldn’t be the only thing your guests find on your table, however, so add a little artsiness to your magazine collection with Beautiful/Decay. It’s an 18-year-old ‘zine about deep-cut art that’s as much a coffee table book as a magazine.
Get the exquisitely made Book 7 for $20 on Beautiful/Decays‘s webstore.
Pulp Art Book
Magazines are great, but there’s something to be said about the tactile pleasure of a well-bound book, especially when that well-bound book is full of artsy, sexy ’60s-style photography.
Get Pop Art Book via Amazon. It’s 47 bucks.
Slate Coaster Collection
You could go for some limited edition, uber-exclusive, uber-expensive coaster set, but instead, opt for something a little more fun. Namely, a set of slate pieces that your guests can actually draw on.
Amazon has these chalk-ready guys for on $15.
When it comes to discarding your spent smoking items, Hermés makes the most awesomely high-end options.
Get the classic European fare above for $830 off the Parisian imprint’s webstore.
Space Case Grinder
If you’re going to keep an ashtray, you should probably also keep the tools for smoking handy as well. And, after all, nothing brings people together like filling their lungs with foreign vapors. But beware, grinders that look like stacks of poker chips are NOT OK, especially after your college graduation.
Opt for a quality $73 4-piece titanium grinder in black from Space Case’s webstore.
Santalum + Cedrus Candle Saturdays NYC x Baxter of California
If you and you’re guests are going to be smoking, you’ll want to mask the smoke-smell post consumption.
This Baxter of California for Saturdays NYC candle will do the trick (it smells like sandalwood, whatever that is). It’s $35 via their webstore.
Ravenscroft Crystal Beveled Blade Decanter
Fill it with whatever you want, but always make sure it’s full so you can ply your guests with intoxicants… but not in a creepy way.
Each is $138 on Amazon.
Ghurka Folding Snap Tray
Organization is key to this whole “My Coffee Table Is Impressive” thing, so get yourself a key valet. Ghurka knows how to do leather right, so you can’t go wrong with their offering.
It’s $175 on their webstore.
One Talk Piece
No coffee table is complete without at least one “talk piece” i.e. something that your guests will inevitably pick up, inspect, and ask you about. It’ll save you from having to break the ice by talking about the weather and/or how your local sports team is doing.
Choose one that fits your personality/what you’re into. A fake time bomb is funny. A piece of artfully worn driftwood is thoughtful. Actually, don’t do that. A machete is probably too murder-y right?
10 Things To Step Up Your Coffee Table Game