5 LOOKS FOR KANYE WHILE HE’S IN ANGER MANAGEMENT FOR BEATING UP A PHOTOGRAPHER
1. THE "I'M A NERD" LOOK // "Hey! What's up? My name is Kanye. I'm total geek. Please feel bad for me. Everyone always picks on me. My life is sad."
2. THE "YOUNG DAD" VIBE // Kids can be super useful when it comes to getting things you need. Nothing says "responsible" more than showing up to anger management sessions in a completely regular camel trench, with a baby in a little carseat. So sensible. Maybe even throw on some Rockports. Your counselor will be immediately disarmed.
3. THE "I'M TOO FANCY TO BE ANGRY" LOOK // If you show up to anger management in a Tux, and explain that you are going straight to a gala after, for sick kids or orphans, or an anti-cancer/anti-nazi/anti-racism/anti-slavery/anti-anger charity, they will most likely let you out early.
4. THE "I'M ACTUALLY CRAZY/DO I SCARE YOU?" LOOK // Nothing says "I'm crazy", quite like a white Chewbacca mask and straight jacket. So, Kanye, you could go this route and empower your therapist, by coming through wearing this at the beginning of the first session, and then slowly take it off and act mad normal, making the therapist think they're a genius. Just a thought.
5. THE "NO, I'M ACTUALLY REALLY MAD" VIBE // I have a feeling Kanye's gonna go with something unapologetic. He strike me as the type that really doesnt give a fuck about what his Anger Management Therapist thinks of him. The all red suit, screams "I hate everyone and everything". Sometimes honesty is the best policy.
I really wish you a ton of luck with your sessions, your community service, your probation, and your temper. But, Yeezy, I will honestly be shocked if you make it through all of this with out beating someone else up blowing their nose too loudly for farting near you. Good luck and Godspeed.
Who is Daniel Ramos? I don’t really know, but Kanye West definitely does.
Ramos is the videographer who was filming Kanye at LAX airport back in July, until Kanye lost his damn mind and started beating Ramos up before fleeing the scene. Kanye was then charged with misdemeanor assault and battery charges.
But there’s good news for all you Kanye freaks (who believe Yeezus can do no wrong). This week Kanyeezy cut a deal that will most likely wash the charges from his record forever. All he has to do is….24 anger management sessions, 250 hours of community service, 24 months of probation, and pretend that he’s sorry throughout all of it. I’m sure Kanye, Kim, and a team of stylists are already hard at work sketching demure, contrite, sartorial choices for his sessions, but I’m pretty confident that KW reads my column on the reg, so I thought I’d weigh in and make my own suggestions. Some of my choices could help Kanye get out early by making himself seem calm and over his anger, while others say “I DON’T GIVE A F*CK YOU CAN’T HOLD ME I AM KANYE WEST.”
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Kanye Anger Management