It is a commonly known fact that the “comments” sections of the Internet are the filthiest cesspools of humanity.
The things that people write in response to YouTube videos makes me terrified for my future children (although I’m also terrified that they’ll have me as a father.) The sheer ignorance of user feedback on WorldstarHipHop videos will shatter your brain into a million tiny little pieces. Even the comment section of an article on CNN’s website is terrifying.
Comments are basically the only place on Earth where even if you are a weirdo, moron, sh*thead, creep, pervert, dickhead, troll, recluse, racist, rapist, xenophobe, horn dog, jerk, bozo, raging closet homosexual, and idiot, your opinion can be voiced.
It’s always hilarious. And always terrifying.
The newest hotbed of upsetting/hilarious comments is on the Instagram feeds of famous people. Every celeb gets bizarre feedback on their photos at some point, from models (example: “damn girl you are perfect like the stars in the sky”) to singers (example:”come to Venezuela, I would die for you!!) but for some reason, nobody attracts more weirdos on his ‘gram than rapper/Jew/intense-eyebrow-haver Drake.
Forget the standard-issue thirsty female fans asking him to have sex with them, it’s way beyond that level of insanity at this point. People threaten to kill him, rip his d*ck off and keep it in a glass case, and offer to give him fellatio on a plane WHILE THEY ARE OPERATING THE PLANE.
In an attempt to compile the craziest comments from Drizzy’s feed for your enjoyment, me and my Filipino intern Choochoo got a room at a Marriott out by the airport, bought a tremendous amount of party favors, and locked ourselves in for 48 straight hours. Here’s the best (worst) of the best (worst.)
THE 6 CRAZIEST COMMENTS ON DRAKE’S INSTAGRAM
“I’ll suck your dick but not one some gay shit” is the greatest thing that’s ever been said.
This woman is going to murder her children one day. I’m alerting the authorities pre-emptively.
Being able to suck someone off while simultaneously operating an aircraft is an amazing skill. Now that I think about it, she’s kind of a dream woman. MARRY HER DRIZZY.
Poetic. And scary.
Subtle, very subtle.