The 10 Worst Streetwear Items To Take Off Before Having Sex
Depending on what circle you roll in, going all out with high-end menswear is the best way to get laid. But after you lure your new sex partner back to your bedroom/lair, the same thing that got her back in the first place can suddenly become your downfall once it’s time to disrobe.
For your consideration, here are 10 items of streetwear to avoid having to take off before sex.
Kanye’s “Red Octobers”
You can’t bring your dust bags and storage box out to the bar with you for post-removal protection…
Your Gold Grill
WAAAY too much like dentures.
Saint Laurent Jackets
If your leather jacket costs over $1000, hanging it up is all sorts of necessary. The problem is that fumbling to find a hanger and the door to your closet is a panty un-dropper.
Your Full Hand of Rings
If you’re an over-accessorizor, you’re going to want to avoid roughing up your partner by removing your gear before your romp. A four finger ring is doable, but if each of your fingers has it’s own bulky hard wear, that five minute pause to jigger it all off is going to be a deal breaker.
If you’re going to wear your leather pants in the summer time, beware the sticky leg-to-leather seal that may result. There’s nothing sexy about having to lay on your back while your sexual partner to-be uses his/her leverage to pull of your pants.
Also, beware the creases that may result from throwing your now-liberated leather pants into a ball in the corner of your room.
Any And All Skinny Jeans
Having to pause to shimmy your too-tight jeans over your calves is not ok. Also, remember: fashionably ripped jeans can also because just ripped ripped jeans when you’re taking them off in the dark and they catch on your foot and you fall and hurt yourself. Skinny jeans can be dangerous.
Gladiator Boots/Excessive Straps
If the problem here isn’t immediately obvious to you, you shouldn’t reproduce with another human.
If you’re night adventures get overly rambunctious, crushing is inevitable.
Anything Too Technical
The more straps, buckles, zippers, enclosures, or pockets you have — basically the more you look like a soldier hitting the streets of SoHo, the more you’re going to have to unstrap, unbuckle, unzip when it comes time to hit the bedroom.
Not because they’re annoying to take off, but because you should clearly leave them on through out the act.