Amanda Bynes Is Free, And Wants To Be A Fashion Designer
Guess what? America’s favorite mess, Amanda Bynes, has been released from her court mandated, in-patient, rehab facility after just 5 short months. Bynes, who went on a 6-month long bender/ pubic meltdown that ended with setting her neighbors driveway on fire, will now complete her treatment at her parents home in Southern California. I’m not sure about you, but to me that sounds like the most idiotic idea of all time.
Even worse is that fact that her attorney has made an official statement on Amanda’s behalf which states that “Amanda Bynes is looking at colleges with her parents and wants to study fashion. She plans on starting a fashion line in the near future.”
Actually, scratch what I said earlier; that’s the most idiotic idea I’ve ever heard.
Has she not looked in the mirror in the past year? Her style is not exactly what I’d call accessible. Amanda’s sartorial vibe is ‘Slutty Nikki Minaj’ meets ‘Slutty Hooker’, which I’d call ‘Nikki Minaj-a-trois.” If she honestly thinks her public persona over the past year is sellable, then good for her. You go girl. But I’m pretty sure nobody is trying to look like Amanda Bynes right now.
Let’s have review some of her top looks just prior to being sent away, then you can make up your own mind about whether Amanda Bynes as fashion designer should become a reality.
1. This is a NO for a lot of reasons. Also she is legit smoking a J.
2. Also a big NO. Mainly because it’s a no.
3. These ensembles aren’t even that bad, but they also are, because she looks a stripper from the Valley named Nikki who has a bunch of kids, an Armenian ex-husband, and a bad case of the clap.
4. I feel like there could actually be a market for those ripped stockings, but I’m not that up on that part of the fashion world. So what do I know?
At the end of the day, who am I to say that she can’t pull her new designer role off? Maybe she’ll be the next Marc Jacobs or something. But probably not. Wait, definitely not.
I just feel bad for whoever has to be her college roommate.