Well, it’s that time of the year again. Things are winding down, everyone at work has checked out mentally, and the world is coming to a screeching halt for the holiday break. But with the year’s end comes an opportunity to cleanse ourselves of the things we did wrong, and start fresh.
For instance, this year I ate too much Dominos pizza, drank too much Four Loko (when it got discontinued I bought like a hundred cases), and watched too much bizarre Japanese pornography.
In 2014 I’m going to try and limit the excess with which I partook in all of the above activities, and we as a society should look at the ways we overdid things as well. Especially when it comes to our sartorial proclivities.
Lets take a look at the 5 most awful fashion looks that should be put out to pasture in 2013.
1. Varsity Jackets with Leather Sleeves
Kanye, TI, Drake, enough. I was over this one before it started, but now it has really gotten out of hand. Unless you are on a JV football team in suburban New Jersey and you’re 15, just don’t wear this.
2. Margiela Masks
Stop. This is not even a thing that should be happening. These masks cost over $1,000 and they literally do nothing but make you look like a jerk. Please die masks. Please die.
A $140 dollar white T-shirt that’s called “The Hip-Hop tee” is a joke. I’d honestly rather spend $140 on an un-needed root canal or a tattoo of me getting a tattoo. In fact, most of these marked up, celeb collaborations can really just go away. They grab a ton of attention and most of the time they suck.
4. A Blazer With Shorts
No comment. (This also may be the only one that doesn’t mention Kanye)
It’s had a long go of it, that fedora, but it’s finally been beaten into the ground. Let us finally rid ourselves of this awful, confused trend that has somehow stayed with us for way too long. Unless you’re Indiana Jones or doing a guest starring role on Mad Men, maybe we just don’t wear a fedora. Sound like a plan?
Well, I feel better. Don’t you?
We’ve purged ourselves in a way that makes us look better, and those around us feel better. We should do this more often. (By the way an alternate title for the article could be “Hopefully 2014 Won’t Be So Kanye-ee”)