The newest creations for #menswear’s Fall/Winter 2014 season have descended on New York City, and as seems to happen every year, it’s turned into a parade of wild getups that nobody would actually wear.
There have been some highlights, like Public School’s continually on-point gear and the introduction of their women’s line, as well as the head banging models of Hood By Air‘s runway.
Far more prevalent, however, is the absurd circus that fashion shows have become. Below are the 18 scariest looks inspired by pedophiles, bond villains, and more.
The American Psycho
He’s going to be returning some video tapes right after he gets of the catwalk.
The Draco Malfoy
Insert Slytherin joke here.
The Puke Pants
This is a womenswear look, right? He looks like my mom in 1990.
The Captain Kirk
Star Trek was fashionable?
The Bond Villain #1
No. Just no.
The Bath Mat
Pick one up at your local Bed Bath & Beyond.
The Cheek-Bone Nazis
He can’t get through Airport security with those switchblades on his face.
The Bond Villain #2
Complete with the DMX chain and cocaine cheek rouge.
The Rumble-Ready Greaser
This guy is taking the model smirk too a whole new level.
The Ghost-Nipple Guy
Fashionable nipple slippage.
The L.L. Bean Lesbian
Patrik Ervell is really gunning for the lesbians-who-love-hiking-in-fleece demographic
Choose whichever pill makes this go away.
The Pants-less Child-Raping Psychopath
Hide your kids. Hide your wife. Hide everyone.
The Todd From Wedding Crashers
It’s sexual and violent.
There are no words for this one.
The Pirate Of Penzance
Is that beard even real? No, it’s not.
The Senile Grandmother
Hood By Air is really gunning for the toothless Floridian demographic.
The baggy jeans, the puffy velour jacket, the knockoff Timberlands. It was every terrible ’90s rapper’s uniform. He looks like a member of Naught by Nature.