Dear Kanye, Please Don’t Let Your adidas Look Like These adidas
It’s official, Kanye West has left Nike for adidas. His reason: because of money. He told the Angie Martinez Show, “The old me, without a daughter, would have taken the Nike deal because I just love Nikes so much. But the new me, with a daughter, takes the adidas deal because I have royalties and I have to provide for my family.”
The first question, what’s happening with the “Red Octobers”? Will they ever get a release or are they destined to enter the mysterious, speculation-ridden realm of unicorns and Dr. Dre‘s Detox? The second question, what will Kanye’s new adidas designs look like? The German imprint has been falling flat with collaborations for years now. Basically, they’ve been making horrible shoes, but Kanye wouldn’t follow in those footsteps right? Well, he just might. On purpose.
Nobody loves being a provocateur quite like Kanye does, which raises the possibility that he could purposely release the ugliest shoe ever created. Just to f*ck with us. Just to see people line up to buy the worst thing he could possibly design.
It’s never out of the question.
If that ends up being Kanye’s play, he wouldn’t have to look far for inspiration, he could simply model his sneakers after the 7 ugliest adidas shoes ever created. Here’s what that Frankenshoe monstrosity would look like:
And Here Are the 7 Ugly adidas Shoes We Used To Create Them
Jeremy Scott Tinsel Bear Shoes
Back in his The College Dropout days, Kanye loved his fuzzy bear costumes. He may be on to that next level Maison Martin Margiela facemask fashion now, but could the Jeremy Scott x adidas Tinsel Bear sneakers jog something in his memory? Something dark, childish, and incredibly ugly? Let’s hope not.
Antoine Walker Black Vivid Pink Joy
All-black-everything maybe the colorway of the moment, but everyone remembers Kanye’s penchant for pink polos. Throwback Boston Celtic Antoine Walker had his own love of pastels, and the results were horrifying. Will Yeezy bring it back?
Though it’s seems that Kanye is signed generally to adidas, the high-end, high-fashion designs of adidas sub-brand Y-3 seem more up Kanye’s alley than the functional athletic fare that adidas slings. But, Mister West, tread lightly; not everything Y-3 does is so killer. Exhibit A: hallow soles. No, just no.
GSG-9.2 High Boots
Ok, here’s one design that, at first look, seems to fit the 2013 Kanye. But, upon further scrutiny, THE GSG-9.2 HIGH B IS A LO-TOP SNEAKER WITH AN ANKLE BRACE THROWN ON! Abort… abort… abort….
Jeremy Scott Handcuff Sneakers
With songs like “New Slaves” and “Black Skinhead”, Kanye was clearly going for the shock-and-awe approach with Yeezus. But it was Jeremy Scott that (sort of) played on the new slaves idea back in 2012 — Scott claimed the ankle shackles were inspired by My Pet Monster, they got pulled anyway. Hopefully Kanye doesn’t attempt to pull them back in.
Kanye, unless you’re going to be designing kicks for your daughter, stay away from the sparkly scales and purple/azul colors of the adidas Crazy 97s.
Jeremy Scott Sandals
#Yeezus #Christ sandals? Hopefully not.
Kanye loves being ahead of the times, but when the Kobe IIs dropped in 2001, the gloved sneakers were WAY TOO ahead of their times. It didn’t help that they looked like hot toaster ovens.
Let’s just hope Kanye decides to design something hot.
March 5, 2014