Having a boss who crosses professional boundaries puts you in an incredibly difficult position. You depend on this person for your livelihood and, in many cases, your future career trajectory. That power dynamic makes it hard to speak up or push back. And it’s often difficult to know where the line is between something that makes you uncomfortable and something that’s actually against the law.
When you have these feelings, don’t minimize them. If your boss is behaving in ways that feel wrong, it helps to understand your options and rights. At the very least, it’ll give you the clarity you need to respond tactfully (and not fearfully).
What Counts as Inappropriate?
Inappropriate behavior from a boss can cover a wide spectrum. Some of it is clearly illegal, while other situations fall into a gray area that’s harder to categorize. Knowing the difference helps you determine the right course of action.
Sexual harassment is the most legally defined category. It includes unwanted sexual comments, advances, or requests for sexual favors. It also accounts for creating a hostile work environment through sexual jokes, inappropriate touching, sexually explicit messages or images, or even comments about your body that are sexual in nature. Contrary to what some people think, sexual harassment doesn’t require physical contact.
Bullying and verbal abuse don’t always rise to the level of illegal harassment, but they do create a toxic work environment that affects your health and performance. A boss who regularly humiliates you in front of colleagues or uses threatening language is behaving inappropriately regardless of whether it meets a legal threshold.
Discrimination based on race, gender, age, religion, disability, national origin, or other protected characteristics is also illegal under federal and state employment laws. A boss who makes derogatory comments about your background or passes you over for opportunities based on a protected trait is breaking the law.
Document As Much As You Can
The moment you recognize a pattern of inappropriate behavior, start keeping a detailed record. (Dates, times, what was said or done, who was present, how it affected you, etc.) Save emails, text messages, and any written communication that demonstrates the behavior. If the interaction was verbal with no witnesses, write down what happened as soon as possible while the details are fresh.
This documentation serves two purposes:
- It creates a contemporaneous record that carries weight if you file a formal complaint or a legal claim.
- It helps you evaluate whether what you’re experiencing is an isolated incident that might be addressed through a conversation or a pattern that requires escalation.
Store your documentation somewhere your employer can’t access. This could be a personal email account or even a physical notebook you keep at home. Just make sure you aren’t recording this information on a company device or account, as those could be wiped clean or restricted from access when the organization becomes aware of it.
Use Your Company’s Internal Channels
Most companies have processes in place for reporting inappropriate behavior. This might include an HR department or a compliance hotline. Using these internal channels creates an official record that the company was made aware of the problem and had an opportunity to address it.
File your complaint in writing rather than relying on a verbal conversation. A written complaint creates documentation that can be used as admissible evidence later on. Be specific about what happened, when it happened, and how it affected your work environment. Then ask for your own copy of this complaint.
Some people hesitate to go to HR because they don’t trust the process or worry that HR will protect the company rather than the employee. That concern isn’t always unfounded. HR departments serve the organization, and their response to your complaint will be shaped by the company’s interests as well as yours. But filing internally is an important step regardless of your confidence in the outcome.
Know Your Legal Rights
Federal and state employment laws protect you from sexual harassment, discrimination, and retaliation in the workplace. These protections apply regardless of the size of the company or the seniority of the person involved. (Though some federal protections kick in at specific employee count thresholds.)
“Victims of workplace sexual harassment may recover damages, including back pay for lost wages, front pay for future lost earnings, compensatory damages for emotional distress and psychological harm, punitive damages, and attorney’s fees and litigation costs,” Keating Law Firm explains. “In some cases, if appropriate, an employee may also seek reinstatement to the position they once held.”
Filing a charge with the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC) is the federal path for pursuing a claim. State-based fair employment agencies provide an additional or alternative avenue depending on your location. But it’s worth noting that there are filing deadlines for these charges, typically 180 to 300 days from the date of the discriminatory act.
Don’t Deal With This Alone
An inappropriate boss is not something you have to deal with or take lightly. Depending on the specifics of the situation, you should have plenty of legal paths you can take to fight back and protect your rights. The sooner you do, the faster you can move on with your life and put this in the rearview mirror.
