That first consultation costs real money. Somewhere between $150 and $300 just to sit down, sometimes more. And a significant portion of people spend the first half of it watching the attorney try to piece together basic financial information that was sitting in a filing cabinet at home.
Nobody tells you what to bring. So here it is.
Bring the Financial Picture
Connecticut doesn’t split marital assets 50/50 automatically. The court divides things based on what it considers equitable, which is a judgment call that depends heavily on what actually exists in the marriage. An attorney cannot give you a realistic picture of property division without knowing what you have.
Before the consultation, figure out where these things are. Not necessarily in your hands. Just know they exist and know roughly what they say.
Tax returns, last two to three years. Every retirement account either of you has, 401(k), IRA, pension, all of it. Bank statements. The mortgage balance. Vehicle titles. Credit card and loan balances. Business ownership documents if either of you runs one.
You don’t need a binder. You don’t need originals. You just need to not spend half the hour explaining to an attorney what you own.
Actual Dates
Marriage date. Separation date or when you stopped living together. How long you’ve lived in Connecticut.
Connecticut requires at least one spouse to have lived in the state for 12 months before filing, or for the grounds of divorce to have occurred here. This is not a formality. It determines where and when you can file. “Sometime last year” is not a date.
Kids Change Everything
If you have children, this is where the consultation gets complicated fast, and not because the legal standard is hard to understand. Because most people haven’t translated their feelings about custody into actual practical terms yet.
The attorney needs specifics. Ages and schools. Your real week-to-week schedule and your spouse’s. Whatever informal arrangement you’ve already been following since separating. Any concerns about the other parent described with actual examples, not generalizations like “he’s not present.”
Connecticut courts decide custody based on the best interests of the child. That standard covers each parent’s genuine relationship with the kids, work schedules, and the stability of each home. The U.S. Department of State’s family law resources are worth reading for background before you sit down with anyone local.
Write the Questions Down at Home
Every person who walks into a consultation planning to ask important questions forgets half of them once they’re sitting across from an attorney. Write them down the night before and bring the paper.
Worth having on the list: how does equitable distribution actually play out in Fairfield County for a situation like mine, does alimony apply here and what determines it, what’s the realistic timeline if we mostly agree versus if we fight about everything, what does the fee structure look like and what does the retainer actually cover.
Ask specifically whether they’ve handled cases with similar financial situations or custody dynamics to yours. Years of divorce experience in general is different from experience with cases that actually resemble what you’re dealing with.
The Process
Contested divorce means the judge decides what you can’t agree on. These can take months. Sometimes years. Uncontested means you’ve reached agreement on everything: property, debt, custody, child support, alimony. Connecticut has a streamlined path for that. Faster, cheaper, less painful.
Collaborative divorce commits both parties and their attorneys to resolving everything without litigating. Here’s the thing most people don’t know about collaborative: if it falls apart and either party decides to go to court, both attorneys have to withdraw. Both parties start fresh with new counsel. That’s a real cost and worth understanding before you agree to it.
Mediation is a neutral third party helping you work through the stuck points outside of court. A lot of couples use it for specific disputes rather than the whole process.
Think Through What You Want Before You Go
A lot of people sitting in a first consultation are still in the early stages of accepting that this is actually happening. They haven’t thought through what outcome they’re looking for in any concrete terms.
Can you afford the house alone and do you actually want it? What does custody need to look like given your real schedule, not the one you wish you had? Is there a specific asset you’re worried about? Are you likely to need financial support from your spouse or is it going to go the other direction?
No final answers needed. But having thought about it means you’re having a strategy conversation rather than figuring out what you want while paying attorney rates to do it.
The Cost Reality
Hourly rates in Fairfield County run roughly $250 to $500. Most attorneys require an upfront retainer, typically $2,500 to $10,000 depending on how complicated your situation looks. They draw against it as they work and bill you when it runs out.
Ask for a realistic range based on your specific situation. Not a firm number, they can’t give you that. A range from comparable cases. Any experienced attorney can tell you roughly what cases like yours have cost.
On Picking Someone
Before you decide on anyone go read what actual clients say about working with them. On Yelp, there are direct accounts from people who went through Connecticut family law cases with varfious law firm. More useful than anything a firm writes about itself.
For Fairfield specifically, a Fairfield divorce lawyer from Happy Even After Family Law handles cases in the local courts and knows the specific landscape there, not just Connecticut divorce law in the abstract.
Bring a notebook. Meeting with more than one attorney before you decide is completely normal and worth doing. The first person you meet doesn’t have to be the person you hire.
Be honest about the uncomfortable parts. Hidden assets, financial problems you’ve been avoiding dealing with, anything complicated about the marriage you’d rather not bring up. Attorneys hear all of it. What you don’t tell them tends to come out later anyway, usually at the worst possible time.
And pay attention to how the attorney communicates with you during the consultation itself. Not just whether they seem knowledgeable. Whether they actually listen and explain things clearly. That dynamic doesn’t improve after you’ve signed a retainer agreement.
About the Author:
As a journalist, Leland Bengtson dedicated most of his career to law reporting. His greatest satisfaction is to convey legal matters to the public in a language that they can understand. He is active on various platforms and media outlets, writing about common legal issues that people confront every day. While medical malpractice is his strong suit, Leland covers plenty of other topics, including personal injury cases, family law, and other civil and even criminal legal matters.
