Most of us have a long list of characteristics that define our ideal mate, ranging from general traits like intelligence, caring, witty, adventurous, understanding — to specific skills and interests — great cook, likes baseball, active in politics, likes to travel. However, we realize that we cannot find everything in one person and must make some compromises.

Many of these characteristics will not be evident to us when we first meet someone, but as you get to know the person you are dating, these are indispensable traits to look for in them and strive for in ourselves. These ideal characteristics include the following:


You should look for someone similar to yourself. According to research, we are drawn to people similar to us, particularly those who share our attitudes and values. Couples who share similar tastes, interests, and expectations have few conflicts. There is less to argue about when you share similar tastes in food, movies, or hobbies and similar attitudes toward work-life balance, child-rearing, and social obligations.


The ideal partner is gentle, loving, and responsive on many levels, including physically, emotionally, and verbally. He or she is personal, acknowledging and expressing feelings of warmth and tenderness. This person should enjoy closeness in sexual encounters and should feel free to give and accept affection and pleasure. Being open to giving and receiving affection enriches our lives with a powerful feeling.

Emotional balance

Emotional stability is the personality trait that has the most significant impact on your relationships. Those who lack it are moody, touchy, anxious, and quick to anger — all characteristics that make someone challenging to live with. Emotionally stunted people are more likely to have negative and argumentative interactions with others, including their partners. They are also more envious and less forgiving. Not surprisingly, people with high levels of neuroticism are more likely to divorce.

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The ideal partner sees their companion on two levels: intellectually, through observation, and emotionally, through intuition. This person understands and empathizes with his or her partner. When two people understand each other, they become aware of their common characteristics while recognizing and appreciating their differences. Each partner feels understood and validated when both partners are empathic, capable of communicating with feelings, and respect the other person’s wants, attitudes, and values.

Respect and independence

Ideal partners value each other’s interests. They are friendly and supportive of each other’s long-term goals in life.

They are sensitive to wants, desires, and feelings and treat them equally to their own. Ideal partners are respectful and sensitive to one another. They do not use threatening or manipulative behavior to try to control each other. They respect their partner’s distinct personal boundaries while remaining physically and emotionally close. We can get to know our partners as individuals by valuing and respecting their sovereign minds and not attempting to change them.

Integrity and honesty

The ideal romantic partner understands the value of candor in a close relationship. Honesty fosters interpersonal trust.

Dishonesty baffles the other person, exposing their vulnerability and shattering their sense of reality. They have the most negative impact on a romantic relationship between two people.

The ideal partner strives to live a life of integrity, with no gaps between words and actions. This applies to all forms of communication, both verbal and nonverbal. Being open and honest in our most intimate relationships necessitates a thorough understanding of ourselves and our intentions.

When we consider the numerous characteristics to look for in a romantic partner, we will have a unique perspective on what is essential. We may be drawn to more specific qualities such as creativity, work ethic, and blue eyes. Choosing a partner who strives to live by the qualities listed above will help ensure that you have the best chance of happiness in our romantic relationship.